The First Teachers - Chapter 2

Dear fathers and mothers. What a solemn responsibility we have as the first teachers of our child. Our Heavenly Father has entrusted us to take care of the children we are given and to educate them for the family above. So when does the education of the child begin and what is 'true' education?

You may find it startling to read that the preparation for the training of the child is to begin before birth. How can this be? Please read this:

• If before the birth of her child she is self-indulgent, if she is selfish, impatient, and exacting, these traits will be reflected in the disposition of the child. Thus many children have received as a birthright almost unconquerable tendencies to evil. But if the mother unswervingly adheres to right principles, if she is temperate and self-denying, if she is kind, gentle, and unselfish, she may give her child these same precious traits of character. {AH 256.2}
• Every woman about to become a mother, whatever may be her surroundings, should encourage constantly a happy, cheerful, contented disposition, knowing that for all her efforts in this direction she will be repaid tenfold in the physical, as well as the moral, character of her offspring. {AH 258.4} 

What a responsibility rests on us mothers to the well being and character of our child!! I feel so inadequate on this point as I am currently pregnant and this past year has been such a hard one for our family. A pray that the Lord will have mercy on me and will wink at my lack and that I may still have a child that will reflect His character. What a solemn responsibility!



Today while I was driving to the markets, I passed the University hear and started thinking of how I would like to take up some course of study. My mind started wandering in all directions of what I could study. When I came home and started going over my Child Guidance (CG) study I again came across 'They should employ much time in careful study of the laws which regulate our being. They should make it their first object to become intelligent in regard to the proper manner of dealing with their children, that they may secure to them sound minds in sound bodies. . . .' {CG 21.5}  Well no time for uni study - I have a clear direction of what I should be studying now! Please have a look at this statement:  'Health is a great blessing, and can be secured only in obedience to natural law. Good health is necessary for the enjoyment of life. A calm, clear brain, and steady nerve, are dependent upon a well-balanced circulation of the blood. In order to have good blood, we must breathe well.  Mothers are accountable, in a great degree, for the health and lives of their children, and should become intelligent in regard to laws upon which life and health depend. Their work does not end here. They should carefully educate their children upon this subject, that they may, by obedience to nature's laws, avoid disease, and secure health and happiness. It is not necessary that all mothers should teach their children all the details of physiology and anatomy. But they should avail themselves of all the means within their reach to give their children instruction relative to the simple principles of hygiene.'  {HR, November 1, 1871 par. 2}

It is a fact (and a sad one) that parents are neglecting their home duties in regards to forming their children's characters. It seems as though everywhere you turn these days you are faced with children and youth who are disrespectful, impatient, rude... the list goes on. I in no ways am saying that my children have got the right characters - BUT it is definitely something that we are CONTINUALLY working on. You just have to set a bad example ONCE, and you have sown seeds that take time to pull out. Beside US setting the right example, there are some fabulous resources out there to help us along the way. With our boys we have used the 'Ladder of Life' series which you can purchase through the ABC shop. It is a set of Character building books and with it comes a teacher manual and songbook with additional activities and songs that will help instill in the child's mind the lessons learnt. As they grow older there are more resources such as the 'Character First' binders (primary school level) or the 'Character Sketches' books (high school level). There are also so many free christian resources on the Internet so please have a look.

I REALLY don't think we are praying and doing enough for our children so that they may not yield to temptation. We seem to think that we have time on our side and it will all work out fine in the long run. You are mistaken!! I remember thinking that when Danny (my eldest) was just toddling around. I was a little lax at times and thought that I could fix all the problems when he was a little older and easier to reason with - what a mistake! Trust me - before you know it they will be 6 and then 10, a teen and then an adult, do what you must do NOW! There is no time to waste, and there is precious time to regain. God cannot do His part if we are not doing ours. We need to 'bravely and cheerfully' take up our work with 'unwearying endeavour'. Yes you may feel tired, exhausted and see no results for a time, but have FAITH! God will work with our efforts and you will see results!

Let's sit back and think about the possibilities of what Zacharias and Elizabeth could of done when they knew that they were to miraculously have a son and he would have a special work to do for the Lord.

• They could of reasoned that God will take care of him as he had a special work to do
• They could of half hearted trained John. Sometimes correcting but also ignoring and turning a blind eye to the character faults of John
• They could of pleaded with God for His help and done their part faithfully in bringing John up for the Lord

So what did they do? They moved to a quiet place in the country where John would not be exposed to the temptations of a city life or 'induced to depart from counsel and instruction of his parents'. They acted their part in developing his character. I look at this scenario and I wonder 'What are we doing for our children to make the path easier for them? Are we putting them in situations where they are tempted to go opposite to their parents instruction or to see bad examples set before them?' We need to understand that our children have been entrusted to us by God and we have a responsibility to raise them up for the family above. 

We must remember that there is someone else who is ready to train your children if you are not. Do you know who it is? Satan! He is ready to sow his seeds into their hearts, but we are not to allow this. We are to teach our little ones about Christ and to lead them to him. In our chapter this week we read of the ways that this can be done and the disciplines they need.

1. Industry - From infancy children should be trained to do those things which are appropriate for their age and ability. Parents should now encourage their children to become more independent. Serious troubles are soon to be seen upon the earth, and children should be trained in such a way as to be able to meet them. Teach your children to be useful, to bear burdens according to their years; then the habit of laboring will become second nature to them, and useful work will never seem like drudgery. Parents cannot commit a greater sin than to neglect their God-given responsibilities in leaving their children with nothing to do; for these children will soon learn to love idleness and grow up to be shiftless, useless men and women. {CG 122.5} 
2. Neatness and Order - These are great points, but keep in mind that if we want our children to be neat and tidy we must set the perfect example. 
• As the guardian and teacher of your children, you are in duty bound to do every little thing in the home with nicety and in order. Teach your children the invaluable lesson of keeping their clothing tidy. Keep your own clothing clean and sweet and respectable. . . . {CG 110.2}   
• Begin early to teach the little ones to take care of their clothing. Let them have a place to lay their things away and be taught to fold every article neatly and put it in its place.{CG 111.2} 
• If the children have a room which they know is their own, and if they are taught how to keep it tidy and make it pleasant, they will have a sense of ownership--they will feel that they have within the home a home of their own, and will have a satisfaction in keeping it neat and nice. The mother will necessarily have to inspect their work and make suggestions and give instruction. This is the mother's work.  {CG 111.3 

It would be of great value to have a schedule. The children would then know what is expected of them and they would have their duties to fulfill.

It is true that the mother is to stand preeminent in the work of training the children, but father and mother should be closely united in this work. They are to always be tender and very guarded in their speech. They should always be courteous and kind to each other and never differ in the presence of their children. Parents, if you are to take these things to heart and do them, your home will have a pleasant and wholesome atmosphere. Isn't it worth it?!

I am not sure about you, but we have had days in our home (Lord forgive) where I have woken up on 'the wrong side of the bed' as they say it. And you know what? The children have too! Do you know why? Because my 'bad' attitude has brought an 'unwholesome' atmosphere in the home and they have just followed my leading. Then there are the times in our home where we have made a conscious and prayerful effort to bring sunshine into our homes, and guess what?! The children always respond in the same way and the home is the most beautiful place to be in, a place where angels love to dwell.

"The standard which every parents must raise is given 'They shall keep the way of the Lord' ".

Is this your prayer for the week? It is surely mine.

God Bless.

Please click here for next weeks study.

Welcome to CHILD GUIDANCE

Welcome to everyone who is taking part in the Child Guidance studies. Yesterday at Toowoomba Central SDA Church we started on chapter 1 and what a blessing! In all our hope we thought we would get through all 6 questions in 1 hour, but in reality we got through 2 questions :o)

So much to discuss and talk about, we could have spent all afternoon in this first chapter, thus the reason for the 'Child Guidance' studies to go online.

If you do not have the study sheet for chapter 1 here it is.

May I remind you that the thoughts expressed on this blog are mine and I would REALLY appreciate your comments and thoughts so that we may all learn from each other. So let our journey begin!

I still remember the first time I read through 'Child Guidance' by Ellen G. White. I THOUGHT there was no pratical advice JUST theory - how I was mistaken! If we seek we will find - it is a promise. So when I came across the '7 lessons that we should teach our children' I was impressed to dig a little deeper and find out what SOP (Spirit of Prophecy) meant in a practical sense. So here is the information that I found which was a REAL blessing. Here is a summary:

• Respect - Is best learnt when seen in BOTH parents showing love and respect to each other. I also found a great set of studies for children at this site: http://www.teachingforafrica.com/files/Bible%20Lessons/Respect%20vs%20Disrespect%204%20lessons.pdf
• Obedience - Administer the rule of the home with LOVE and not the rod of iron. I once heard a lady say that when ever she had to correct her child or if she was starting to get a little agitated with the childs behaviour she would PURPOSEFULLY lower her voice and speak gently. This is a great habit to have which I am prayerfully learning.
• Reverence - If you want your child to be reverent and have an interested in the Word of God, they MUST see YOU being interested in it. Being in nature, and telling of the wonderous works of God leads your childs heart to reverence God. It is a great reminder that nature is the second text book after the Bible that the child should learn from.
• Self-Control - If you want to teach lessons in self-control to your child, you have to learn them first. If you are easily agitated and impatient with your child, how are they to act any better. Great food for thought!
• Kindness - We must set the example.
• Patience - Every time you scold and get upset, you lose a precious opportunity in giving and lesson in patience. We must guard every word that we speak.
• Thoughtful of Others - Again this is set by example.

As you may have noticed, WE need to have learnt all these lessons before we expect our children to be able to learn them. We need to spend more time on our knees in prayer asking God for His help to change us so we can teach our children and waste no more time!

A question raised at the study was "How do you get your child to sit still in church?". I remember asking that same question when my boys were younger and I received a wonderful response from a dear friend of mine, "Start family worship, state the rules of sitting quietly and the practise at home will prepare them for church.". Of course - why hadn't I thought of it! Practise makes perfect right? Yes we still had trials, especially at home when we were teaching our boys to sit still, but within a week they knew exactly what was expected of them and they were sitting still. We also pack a 'Sabbath bag' which consists of Bible books which are new or have not been seen for a while. This makes sitting through the sermon easier for them. And when to stop providing books for them to look at is another question? Parental judgement would have to take place for each individual child.

As parents we have the obligation of giving physical, mental and spiritual instruction. These 3 elements of a balanced character will be looked more in depth as we progress through the book, but lets take a sneak peak of what it might entail.

• Physical 
•  Health - What are we feeding our children? Is it food that will give them strength and a clear mind to fight their battles each day. "Our bodies are constructed from what we eat; and in order to make tissues of good quality, we must have the right kind of food, and it must be prepared with such skill as will best adapt it to the wants of the system. It is a religious duty for those who cook to learn how to prepare healthful food in a variety of ways, so that it may be both palatable and healthful."  {CG 373.2}  
• Exercise -  "In the children and youth an ambition should be awakened to take their exercise in doing something that will be beneficial to themselves and helpful to others. The exercise that develops mind and character, that teaches the hands to be useful and trains the young to bear their share of life's burdens, is that which gives physical strength and quickens every faculty. And there is a reward in virtuous industry, in the cultivation of the habit of living to do good."  {AH 506.2} 
• Learning a trade - "Schools should be established that, in addition to the highest mental and moral culture, shall provide the best possible facilities for physical development and industrial training. Instruction should be given in agriculture, manufactures--covering as many as possible of the most useful trades--also in household economy, healthful cookery, sewing, hygienic dressmaking, the treatment of the sick, and kindred lines. Gardens, workshops, and treatment rooms should be provided, and the work in every line should be under the direction of skilled instructors. The work should have a definite aim and should be thorough. While every person needs some knowledge of different handicrafts, it is indispensable that he become proficient in at least one. Every youth, on leaving school, should have acquired a knowledge of some trade or occupation by which, if need be, he may earn a livelihood."  {CG 357.3} 
• Mental - We need to expect our children to be thorough in their school work and to be able to read, spell, write clearly and do their maths to the best of their ability before they are to take the next step into other subjects.
• Spiritual - "Our heavenly Father, in giving His Word, did not overlook the children. In all that men have written, where can be found anything that has such a hold upon the heart, anything so well adapted to awaken the interest of the little ones, as the stories of the Bible? In these simple stories may be made plain the great principles of the law of God. Thus by illustrations best suited to the child's comprehension, parents and teachers may begin very early to fulfil the Lord's injunction concerning His precepts: 'Thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up'." {PH124 3.1} 

God is so good! In talking to the Hebrew people, he told them how to teach their children so that they may stay in close relation to Himself:

• To teach the children Gods requirements - COMMANDMENTS. 'Thy Word Creations' have a wonderful scripture memory book and CD which teaches children the 10 commandments. Don't be overwhelmed by the length of the commandments - God has made our childrens brains like sponges, they soak up information especially through repitition.
• To acquaint children with all His dealing with His people - Read the bible. Start when they are young and they will have a desire for the stories of the Bible
• Thoughts of God were associated with all the events of daily life - You know the verse "And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up." Deut 6:7
• Deliverence of His people recounted with eloquence and reverential awe - Again the stories from the Bible
• Providence and future life to be impressed on young minds - Children love to hear about heaven and to imagine of how it is going to be. Don't stop telling them about how good Heaven will be and what they would like to see and do there. Get them excited!

And how did the Hebrew people teach these lessons and firmly fix them into memory of the children? By the use of figures and symbols the lessons given were illustrated, and thus more firmly fixed in the memory. Through this animated imagery the child was, almost from infancy, initiated into the mysteries, the wisdom, and the hopes of his fathers, and guided in a way of thinking and feeling and anticipating, that reached beyond things seen and transitory, to the unseen and eternal.  {CG 19.1} Teach with - pictures, felts, drawings... Betty Lukens Bible Felts are fantastic!

Jesus secured His education in His home and He is our childs perfect pattern. He was faithful and cheerful in bearing household burdens. A question which I often ponder is about 'Chores' and what is to be expected of a child. This qoute is a good reminder:  "Each child in the family should have a part of the home burden to bear and should be taught to perform his task faithfully and cheerfully. If the work is portioned out in this way, and the children grow up accustomed to bearing suitable responsibilities, no member of the household will be overburdened, and everything will move off pleasantly and smoothly in the home" CG 350.
It is amazing how a child is born with a desire to help. Do not stop them even though it may seem much quicker to do it yourself and less of a hassle. When Marco (my youngest son) was crawling and toddling around, I would give him a cloth to wipe down the furniture. He would crawl around wiping the legs of the chairs, table tops, anything that he could reach. As my boys grew I introduced visual picture charts so they could see what their chores were, and when they had completed a task they would velcro a 'tick' next to the picture. When they had put all their 'ticks' up they would call me and I would check their work. They loved their charts and we rarely had to remind them to do their chores.
At the age of 4 and 6 they are a real blessing. I no longer have to water my garden, feed the animals, take out the compost or the rubbish bins, I don't even have to get wood for the fire! And all of this with cheerfulness and willing heart. I can't believe we have reached this far - truly it is worth the painstaking effort you must put in the beginning!

I pray that this study has been a blessing as it has been to me. Please share your thoughts, trials and questions so that we may all help and learn from each other. Looking forward to next weeks study.

In preparation for next week please complete the study guide for chapter 2.

Psalm 127:3      Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.